Life is a Creative Rollercoaster, and I Have no Idea What Direction it's Going In


There are so many people, particularly online who seem like they have it all sorted. They know what they’re doing, where they’re headed and how they’re going to get there. Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond happy for those people and proud of them for having a clear sense of direction, but even though I know that most of those people don’t have it together at all despite what their twitter feed suggests, it can sometimes make me feel like I’m doing something wrong because I don’t have it all figured out. I’ve recently been realising that actually, it’s okay to be a bit unsure, and that it is all a part of the creative process.

To you, I might sometimes seem like one of those people who has it all figured out. I am unbelievably blessed to have a job in design and am doing a lot of creative work and I am eternally grateful for having that at this time in my life. The thing that might not seem so obvious from my tweets or instagrams, is that I’m actually not doing what I want to be doing, and I’m not even 100% sure what that is at all.

At the moment, I work two jobs: one as a UX/UI Designer for another company, and one as a Creative Director and Designer at the design studio that I run alongside my business partner. I am well aware that from the outside that might sound perfect, but while there are so many parts of both jobs that I absolutely love, it’s just not quite the right thing for me that I want to be doing with my life.

Here’s where I stand right now. I love the problem solving aspect of UX and UI, that it really challenges me mentally and is quite in demand at the moment. I don’t think I would have much trouble finding similar roles throughout my career if that’s the direction I chose to go in. While I do love those aspects of UX and UI, I’m just not as passionate about it.

My other job is super flexible and I get to manage things myself which is what I ultimately want to be doing, so that’s great. I’m also working on really fun branding and web projects with great clients so I’m definitely not complaining there. This job is going great, but it’s not intended to last forever, so I need to be setting myself up for the future and what happens afterwards, which is where my uncertainty and dilemma comes in.

I guess the question I’m asking myself is: do I follow the UX/UI route, knowing that I do enjoy it, and there’s probably more security and stability in that direction, where I could follow my passions as a hobby, or do I pursue the thing I really want to be doing: typography?

My dream job is to be illustrating and designing typographic logos, murals, artworks and illustrations as a freelancer, managing my own work and clients and being an artist. The thing that worries me is that maybe I should just do that in my spare time and do something more practical as a day job? I guess I worry about making the decision to follow this path, and thus making the wrong choice financially, practically and creatively.

I know in my heart that I should follow my passion, but maybe I realistically shouldn’t. It might even seem like an obvious choice from the outside, but life isn’t always that straightforward. The thing is, I don’t have the answers and I think that’s okay. Having these questions is part of the creative process, and it’s just another design problem to solve. I’m in the process of designing my life, and there are bound to be questions, forks in the road, loop-de-loops and I might even have to turn back and start from the beginning again sometimes.

I’m currently right in the middle of all of these thoughts, so I haven’t made any real decisions as of yet. Like I said, I know in my heart that I should be doing typography, so chances are, that’s the decision I’ll make and the direction I’ll follow. I just wanted to let you in on these thoughts about life and direction and assure you that if you’re in the same position, it’s alright. Just enjoy the process and you’ll figure it out. You don’t have to appear like you’ve got it all together - chances are that the people you think do have it all sorted, are just like you and I anyway. I’m sure they’re going through more than we know too.

I’d love your thoughts on how you navigate things like this, and where you think I should go so comment down below or tweet me! Maybe I can help you with your forks in the road too. Thanks for joining my journey and I look forward to seeing where we go together!