Excited, Scared & Driven: Thoughts About Being a Fourth Year
Well, it’s been three long and jam-packed years but we’re finally here. Along with my fellow classmates, I have eventually reached the final stage of the marathon and have made it to the final year of my degree (maybe - I might still do my Masters at some point but it’s the final one for now!). Today is the first day of the last year here at Massey University! We’ve all survived the first three rounds but now the pressure is on; this is getting real and there’s a lot riding on the success of the final round. Will we win and launch our careers in roaring success, riding off into the sunset with our pantone swatches and macbooks in hand… or will we dwindle and fall, just missing the mark and feeling lost about who we really are and what it all means? Ugh, it’s a lot to think about and I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to contemplate the ins and outs of this year, but since I’m trying to avoid it, that probably means that I should confront it and talk it out. At least then I’ll be ready to face it all, and you’ll hopefully understand what all my whining and worrying is about! So here goes, let’s talk about feelings and stuff.
First off, I’m pretty excited about this year and for lots of reasons. I guess I’m quite proud that I’ve made it through three whole years already and done a pretty good job at it so far. It’s pretty exciting to be able to say that you’ve nearly finished your degree and you’re about to head off into the real world as a fully fledged designer (or whatever your degree might be!), because I guess that’s what it’s all been for, right? I’m also the first person in my family to go to university so to finish my degree will be a pretty big achievement and I’m excited to hopefully make my family proud. (Gosh, I’m getting emotional already and we’re only on the first point! Sorry!) Last year I made some amazing friends who are all brilliant designers so I can’t wait to see them again and spend more time with them because they motivate me to be better and we all work together really well, so that will be good! I’m super excited too because I think I’ve got a good idea for my major project and I’m really passionate about it which is also why I’m slightly terrified haha… leading me to my next point!
The fact that this is my final year, and that I will basically be working on one project across the whole year is quite daunting. Since it makes up the majority of your grade, there’s a lot of pressure to pick the right thing to focus on and invest your whole year into developing. I have ideas for what I want to work on this year, and I really really reaaaaally want to do a good job at it but I’m firstly terrified that the tutors will tell me it’s a ridiculous and stupid idea that nobody should ever do as a major project (please cross your fingers and toes that this doesn’t happen!) and I’m then scared that if it is a good idea that I won’t do it justice. I guess this is just the classic self-doubt of a creative coming through in me and I should just be confident and have faith that it will all be okay, but surely it’s healthy to do a little worrying? Right? I don’t know. All I do know is that this is how I’m feeling and I’m sure that once I talk to a tutor it will all be fine and I’ll know exactly what I’m going to do. Ha. Fingers crossed!
The idea that I have for my major project means a lot to me, and I’ve wanted to work on this project for a long time now so I really don’t want to waste the time that I’ve got this year to achieve my goals. I’ve got big dreams and I have insanely high standards for myself so I want to not only do this project, but do it to the maximum of my ability, and probably more, haha. That, along with my dream of passing with First Class Honours is really driving me to work hard and succeed this year. I’ve always worked pretty hard, and given it my all, but this year requires more than that. No more wasting time and binge-watching Gossip Girl! If there’s ever been a time to be super productive, it’s now. I know that I can achieve my goals and even surpass them if I put my mind to it, so that’s what I’m going to do. Bring it on!
So, I guess that’s a short, rambly summary of how I’m feeling about the year ahead. Hopefully if you’re in the same boat it’s assuring you that you’re not alone! And if you’re maybe some years away from this stage of your degree, I really hope it hasn’t frightened you!! This year will be tough but it’s also super exciting and it will be full of fun and growth, so I can’t wait and you should be pumped for it too! Let me know how you’re feeling about it all, or if you’ve already been through it and have some tips for me, I’d love to hear any of your thoughts! Good luck to everyone else heading into their last year too - we got this! Let’s smash it together!
Much love, Hollie! :D